Quick and Painful

Cam and I arrived at the hospital for the induction a little after 3am on Wednesday, September 24th. I received a small amount of hope when the nurse told me I was dilated to a four. Perhaps this delivery would go quickly. 

By 4:15, I was hooked up, had Pitocin running through my system, and had to go to the bathroom ever half hour. Cam and I were able to catch a snooze here and there between nurses coming to check machines and see how much I had dilated. 

By 6:30, the contractions had become regular and more uncomfortable. Due to the immediate need of an epidural after they broke my water on my previous delivery, my doctor and I had discussed having the epidural and then having them break my water. 

The "pukey" feeling they told me I would feel after the epidural overwhelmed me and didn't go away. Following the epidural and the water breakage, which happened at 7am and 7:20, respectively, I suddenly felt very hot, very thirsty, and very weak and shaky. In my weak, near unconscious state (I felt) I heard the nurses mention things like my low blood pressure, which had dropped into the 60s, and how I needed Ephedrine pumped through my IV to boost my blood pressure back up.

Meanwhile, baby boy was stressing because he had dropped, the contractions were squeezing him, and my low blood pressure wasn't helping. The nurse checked me again and announced, "She's complete." She would joke later that I hadn't given her enough time to set up the room. :) She would also advise me to get the epidural, give it time to take effect, and then have my water broken. Due to how fast everything happened, the epidural wasn't functioning fully by the time Deacon was born. But the funny thing was, I thought it worked perfectly. It took the edge off the contractions, but still allowed me to feel. The only downside was that my legs were numb for three hours after I gave birth.

Cam and I were completely shocked--"Already?"--and relieved at the same time that this weakening, painful experience was almost over. 

I started to push around 8am and it only took 11 minutes for little Deacon to make his appearance. He didn't cry until they sucked the gunk out of his throat and his nose, and it took awhile for the purpleness to leave his limbs. But once he got all cleaned up, warmed, and fed he was a content little boy.

"Little" is definitely the wrong word for the little "tank", as the doctor and nurses called him. We could tell he was big, but we didn't think big enough to be 9 lbs. 11 oz! 

Parker and Stockton were with Cam's parents (bless them!), and when the two came home, I noticed that Parker's facial expression wasn't the happiest. It simply said, "I don't want to be here. Why can't I stay with Grandma and Grandpa?" But when he saw me at the door holding a little blue blanket with a fuzzy head sticking out of it, he ducked his head and a smile of excitement mixed with the expectation of nine long months spread across his face. His eyes suddenly asked, "Is that him? Is that Baby Brother?"

Stockton's joy wasn't any different. He knew that this was his "Baby Brother", what we had called Deacon ever since we found out what we were having. Baby Brother was here!

Parker is very good at telling me that "the baby is crying in his crib," and "I think he's hungry." Parker also climbs onto the couch or the bed and asks a fussy Deacon, "What's wrong, Baby?" He talks very sweetly to him.

Stockton wants to hold him and "pet him" all the time. He likes to help burp him, too. He likes to talk to him and lay by him and just be as close to him as he can.

Having a newborn in the house brings a different spirit. Nights are a whirlwind of feedings lately (Deacon wants to be fed about four times each night. Hmph.), and becoming a family of five will be a new challenge we'll have to get used to. But the feeling of love has increased in our home. It's wonderful.

Preschool, Birthdays, and Pregnancy

Despite the fact that I have however many pounds pushing on my tailbone, life is good. No, seriously. Pregnant life at 38 weeks is harder right now mentally than physically. I have never been so anxious/impatient/whatever-you-wanna-call-it in my life! I just want to be done. That's all. But I'm good! I'm good...

To take my mind off my big...ness, Stockton turned two on August 13th. He wanted a Planes themed party so I made a cake that had light blue frosting with puffy clouds on it and put two toy Planes on it--get it? They're flying through the sky...? It looked like one of those cakes that should have had the words, "Nailed It" above it. Ha ha! It wasn't pretty. And it didn't taste good either. ANYWAY, we sent him on a treasure hunt for his presents, which he and Parker found exciting. Especially since the presents were wrapped in Planes wrapping paper.

Another big event was that Parker started preschool just yesterday. Joy school actually. Twice a week for two hours. He's loving it. I don't know how he'll handle me telling him that he won't go tomorrow. :) And believe it or not, I was more worried about how Stockton would handle Parker being gone. He and I have had fun though so it hasn't been as awful for him as I thought it was going to be.

And I know Halloween isn't for awhile yet, but these kids can be scary...

Almost Two...

I can't help it. This kid has so much personality, and most of it is just goofy. He is super cute and super funny. He makes us laugh all the time!

Balloon Festival

Every year, Panguitch hosts the Balloon Festival, which includes balloons rising into the sky in the early morning hours, breakfast, activities throughout the day, street vendors, and "the glow"--balloons line Main Street and shoot fire into their balloons, making them glow.

The boys liked to watch the balloons rise into the air Saturday morning. The only way Cam could get them to come home was to say, "There's a balloon over here! Oh, now there's one over there!"

We enjoyed dinner on Main Street Saturday night...

...and then watched the glow. Parker and Stockton thought watching them get blown up was pretty cool.

Kanarraville and Hidden Haven Hikes

I should start this post with... MY SISTER, CARISSA, IS GETTING MARRIED!!!

Okay, now that THAT is out there--I'M SO EXCITED I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN IT!!!--I'll start by saying that she and her fiance, Spencer, came to hike Kanarraville Falls with us. They were tremendous help with the boys, and it was so much fun to have them hang out with us.

Stockton loved walking through the water!

Luckily, this ladder had been improved. Before, it was a bunch of wooden posts nailed to a log that kind of teetered when you stepped on one side. Now, it has actual iron steps. It made me feel a lot better as I carried Stockton up and down.

On our way to Panguitch for July 4th, we stopped and hiked a trail called Hidden Haven. It was shady and very pretty. It would have been cooler if we had seen the waterfall everyone was talking about, but we won't complain. :)

 

Blast to the Past

While we were in Wallsburg (June 8th-15th) the boys and I drove to Ogden to visit my long lost friend, Cori Beenfield. Yay for rekindling friendships! She told me she lived not far from the Ogden Dinosaur Park, a place I visited and loved when I was in 2nd grade. I thought the boys would love it, too.

And they did, for the most part. Parker was absolutely terrified of the robotic T-Rex, and was screaming and crying as hard as I've ever heard him when we began walking through a jungle-like area where the roars and the growls of the dinosaurs could be heard.

Once I showed him the big black box (aka "the speaker") that the noises came from, he calmed down, but only a little. We made it through THAT heavily shaded area, but whenever he heard more sounds, he would run to me and ask me to carry him.

Once we hit the playground, all worries were cast aside and he had a lot of fun playing with Stockton and Cori's boys, Logan and Adam.

 

Week in Wallsburg

During the week Cam was in New York--he went with his 5th grade team on a type of "teach how to teach history" trip--the boys and I were with my parents in Wallsburg. Below are only some of the fun things we did while there. Playing Balderdash every night was one of my highlights! :)

I don't know if we helped, but here Parker and I are "helping" level a place for a barn.

And Uncle Devin took Stockton for a ride later.

Li'l Arrow was nice enough to stay still while both boys sat on his back.

Ropes Course

Once upon a time a family went to a ropes course. Among some of the activities was the zip line. As they fastened their harnesses, they listened intently for instruction.

And then all of them, even the 25ish week pregnant girl, climbed the forty foot post...

...and zoomed into oblivion. WONDERFUL OBLIVION!!!

Two of the youngest members, namely Parker and Stockton, would not be left out. They first attached Parker to the bottom of the zip line...

...and pulled him up the cable until he told them to stop.

Then they let him fly!!!

His mother, who happened to be the 25ish week pregnant girl, was SO proud of him! He didn't even cry, and said he had so much fun.

Stockton was excited, too...

...until his feet left the ground.

If you're wondering, this picture still hurts the 25ish week pregnant girl's heart. (Except she's not 25ish weeks anymore. She's 30. Just sayin'.)

Overall, a way fun thing to do with family! Unfortunately, Cam was in New York (or is that fortunately?) and couldn't do it with us. Next time, perhaps? Thanks, Mom and Dad!

It's About Time to Tell

Please visit http://youtu.be/gRjpNs4E8Ww for a little video we made. With a little twist at the end... :)

Have You Been Drinking?

Realizing that getting a job to help us out financially would be a good idea was only the beginning of the pile. The emotions that came with that--thoughts of leaving my boys, pawning them off on others, them thinking I didn't love them--are another story I won't make you suffer through. Starting the testing proctor job and realizing that I grossly underestimated the time and commitment it was going to take to learn the brand new system was another part of this pile--my boys CANNOT get sick because I CANNOT miss a day of work or the testing CANNOT go on. I picked them up from a friend's house after a meeting on Friday only to find that one of them had a slight fever, which only got worse. Now what?

On the way to Kanab for a Pure Romance party in a snowstorm that night, fishtailing on curvy mountain roads made the prayer, "Please help me to drive safely" much more sincere. By the time my Pure Romance party had ended, I had stopped thinking about everything that had piled on top of me within the last two days. I packed up my stock and began the drive through Hurricane instead of over the mountain.

I had called Cam previously to see which directions I should take to get to I-15 after hitting Hurricane. Now that I was actually in Hurricane, I couldn't remember which directions to take. At 12:30 A.M., and feeling somewhat drowsy, I pulled over on Main Street and called him. But I didn't get very far into my conversation.

Red and blue lights flashed behind me. I told Cam I'd have to call him back.

The officer at my window greeted me. "Where you coming from? Where are you going?"

"I'm coming from Kanab, going home to Enoch. Just tryin' to get home." I think I may have added an exasperated tone to hopefully give him the hint that everything was fine and that I just wanted to be on my way.

"What were you doing in Kanab? You have friends, family there?" he asked.

I smiled. "I'm a consultant for a company and I was doing a party."

"Oh, yeah? What kinda party?"

I chuckled. Wouldn't he be excited to know? "It's called Pure Romance."

"Pure Romance, huh? Sounds exciting. I'll have to look it up."

"You should." I chuckled again. Can I go home now?

"Can I see your license, your registration, and your proof of insurance?"

Dang.

"The reason I pulled you over is that you're parked in the middle of traffic," he explained.

I did my best to take in my surroundings while trying to find the requested paperwork, and sure enough, Main Street has no shoulder. Although I had pulled right next to the sidewalk, I was clearly still in the right lane of Main.

Oops.

Much to my dismay--and can I say horror?--I could not find, for the life of me, any of the papers he had asked for. I had given him my license and then remembered that it was expired and that I had been given a temporary one just three days before. (I guess you could say here that it is good thing I got a job or else I would never have seen that my license was expired. Then what would have happened?)

And then he asked me the question: "Have you been drinking tonight, Jessica?"

I think I might have stared at him, appalled. But I shook my head and said no.

"You haven't?" It was asked in an "are-you-sure?" kind of tone, at which I bristled and said no again.

"Can I just have you pull into this parking lot right here? Just so you're out of traffic?"

Traffic? What traffic? It's 12:30 A.M! That's okay. I'm not bitter... I'm not bitter...

I pulled into the parking lot and after, perhaps, five minutes of him checking my license and verifying my vehicle information, he approached my window again. "You sure you haven't been drinking?"

Oh, brother. Now the pile that I have spoken of previously fell on top of me again, forming tears in my eyes. Can I just go home? I'm tired, I'm lost, I'm stressed, I'm pregnant and emotional, and I'm a good girl who doesn't even know what alcohol SMELLS like. (Your laugh may be inserted here.)

"Not even a shot or anything?"

I shook my head. Offense made a tear or two escape my eyes.

"Can I have you step out of the vehicle, Jessica? We're gonna perform a series of tests."

And THEN the tears. They poured. I took off my seat belt and said, probably not loud enough for him to hear, "I don't drink!"

Yes, the pen test. I couldn't see the stupid pen tip for a time because I was wiping tears off my face. And then the blow-through-the-breathilizer-thing test. Humiliating. Yes, that's the word for this. Utterly humiliating.

"Why you so emotional?" another officer, who I hadn't noticed, asked me.

"Pregnancy," I responded. "Or me. It's just me." Do you believe me now? Can I go HOME?!

After telling me to be careful on the freeway--lots of rain--and telling me to have a good night, they dismissed me. But not before asking me the name of the company I work for and telling me that they'll have to check it out. Won't THAT make them second guess my sobriety. Those parties are known for being wild...

I wasn't drowsy the rest of the way home.

*Note: Although NOT funny at the time, you have my permission to laugh with me. :) It's a fun story to tell, and I am now the first in my family to have to breathe into a breathilizer (is that even what it's called?). And you can't blame the cops--they didn't know me from Adam! And they DID help me stay awake all the way home.

Apparently, my stressed, exhausted, lost, pregnant, emotional self is the equivalent of drunk. :)